Strangers

Gone are college days, where, in four years i got used to faces. Now I am in another city and everyday i come across "new" people (expression : either "Wow!" or "now who is that!"). Work, outings, house visits, parties, everything is adding to the so called friend-circle and is an enormous contribution to my social life(no, i am not a celebrity!). I have nothing against the whole  thing, just that i question the purpose sometimes. For others it might be 'what you need in a new city' but for a typical Pisces dreamer all this comes as a hallucination. Is this what i planned? are these my kind of people? are they "like" my college friends or enemies? is it going to gel? is it going to last?  does it even mean anything to me, or them?...

Assuming to have lived 1/4 th of my life, I believe, I already have met a number of people and have had good relationships with many of them...Maybe i wasn't good enough to keep them going, but it seems i have left behind most of it. For me, all this socializing funda is like starting afresh(phew!). I know it can be real fun but i am just a bit nervous, just like some kid who moves to a new school. There are cool kids you would love playing with, but at the same time, you dont want to lose or get hurt by some stranger!

So, should i stop playing? Certainly not! I am trying hard to fit among the new psychs in my life :D
These are strange funny lazy party freaks, (at least some of it), who keep hugging each other and they somehow feel that abusing each other is cool. I cannot deny that i have a lot of fun with them, we laugh like crazy and we party like never before, but at the end of the day, they still are strangers to me. I guess it will take time and yes i am impatient!. I need to find a place among this confusion, someday i should be able to call them friends (real ones)... I hope that strangers are just friends waiting to happen :)

I was looking at some random pictures and i came across two contrasting ones.

In one pic,i was standing right beside a nerdy of mine.I look in the jolliest of my moods and she has her own intense expression.(Looks like it was clicked after some examination :D).Now the second pic has nothing to do with me-but she looks REAL different.I have never seen her this happy before.It was long back that i got to know that she has gone abroad for higher studies,but it was expected from her.But as i went deeper into her updated snaps,I could see her enjoying herself in every possible way...She has been to all sorts of places,art galleries,disneyland and even amazing clubs.Looks like everything is perfect for her.

WAIT!Am i sulking??not really,but yes it made me "think". What are my plans?How has my life changed after i graduated?There are so many of us who take life easy and it goes easier.We just take life how it comes and we enjoy every moment.I am a strong believer of this philosophy of "PEACE" and "CHILL",but are we overdoing it?Has is become monotonous too?Well,I am not sure,but it needs a thought.

What is it that we lack?Might sound ridiculous,for people of the "Peace" school,but yes,its "AIM"!

I cannot remember times that i aimed very high or something.I never went beyond my "easy" ways.Life is not hard even now,but yes it could have been more "meaningful"

And why am i even saying "could have been"

...its never too late!

Who needs motivation,its right here :)

make a wish.

if someone asks me to make a wish, the first thoughts in my mind would be-just ONE wish???
Lately i have been thinking quite a lot about what i want to happen to my life."Want" is a very general term.
There are things i cannot live without and then there are things i dream of having. 21, and about to start my career,in a new city i have so many aspirations and dreams.Sometimes i get excited,sometimes nervous!.Am i expecting too much?what if it never happens? What if all my BIG plans never turn into reality? What if i dont have the perfect salary or job or partner? What if i am not able to do all what i have longed so much to do for mom dad?

Its definitely tough to be out of school and college,out of your shell, your own little comfy zone where there are people around you who love you no matter what.At times i may say out of excitement that i need a new life, i need new places, new ppl...but somewhere deep i have this fear if everything will be fine, would leaving home, a place i was born and grown up be as easy as it looks like? would earning money be that easy?Its foolishness to think all of it will go my way but then these thoughts are unavoidable!its time i realize that there is just one  way to get over this fear and it is to face it! be confident and adventurous,the usual me. Its time i enter the zone which i can judiciously call "MY life".Where i can make mistakes and stand responsible for them.Where i can wish as much as i want and Where i can atleast give it a try. I have always known that there is no ending to wishes but who needs an end? If there would be no dreams what would i strive for? I dont want to make wishes and sit back, i want to turn them into reality.Its time and i cannot afford being so skeptical about it.

I recall this phrase from a movie "The brave might not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all." i hope i will be brave enough to cross the hurdles and young enough to live up each moment :)

Finding the centre

What brings out the best in you…the “you” who has a life that everyone desires , the one who foresees success… the one who balances between passion and work, the one who never acts outrageously, the one who knows his limits, the one who truly loves, the one who has no enemies, the one who doesn’t care what people say, the one who is not affected by jealousy or greed…the one who is never tempted…the one who is satisfied, and the one who has an unquestionable belief in God.

This isn’t about the wannabe “SUPER-HEROES” …this is about being human, being reasonable and most of all being good. Maybe it seems unrealistic but this is something I desire. There is always some point in life when we realize a few things about ourselves. We have known it all this while but it’s hard to accept, we rather prefer acting cool and proud of what we are.  And when we stop kidding ourselves, we get surprised that our near ones love us, despite the monsters we are. There is so much we need to do…not about the world but about ourselves…We need to get OVER the small things we keep cribbing about and take up higher causes in life. We need to find the CENTRE and weave a REAL life around it. We need to get the BEST out of us, but of course if we don’t believe we already are.

hate you!

I hate the way you do your hair...but i love believing you do it for me,

I hate the way you always turn up late...but i love waiting when i know its YOU,
I hate the way you come up with lies...but i love that you always get caught,
I hate the way you shock me with your SLEEP...but i love the way we laugh at it again n again,
I hate your snooker gang(so much)...but i love it when you miss a game for me,
I hate the way you go mad during examz...but i love the way you try to help me during mine,
I hate all your silly friends...but i love the way you love them all,
I hate the way you laugh at the silliest of jokes...but i love laughing together,
I hate the way you never plan an outing...but i love the way we unexpectedly have SO MUCH FUN,
I hate the way you get scared like a gal on RIDES...but i love those crazy faces you make,
I hate the way you always are hungry,but i love learning to cook sumthing new each time for you,
I hate the way you suggest weird things while shopping...but i love the way i always buy them,
I hate the way you fight with me...but i love the way we always make-up,no matter what ;)
I hate the way you always have an occasion to booze...but i love the way you take care of me when i am high,
I hate your SILENCE...but i love your silent gaze,
I hate the way you always hide your feelings,but i love the way you understand things that i dont say,
I hate the way i hate you,but i love the way i love you!

i really DO!

expressing enough?

One of the best feelings in this world is to make someone feel special…but how many of us really do so? Already counting the number of “times” n “reasons” you have done something like that? We are all different in things such as intellect or liking…expression of love n care, is no exception. While some people are really expressive, others are not. I can put it this way that few are not blessed with the divine gift of “expression”… these are the ones who would either keep waiting for the right time n scenario…n it would actually never click to them. These guys would feel lethargic or uneasy or would simply find it unnecessary doing stuff BEYOND regular . It’s very hard to believe but yes, they simply CANNOT do what you would normally expect them to.

You missed on a very important word here.”Expect”. Draws us to the BLESSED ones who would love to spark up each moment…who would not hesitate doing risky or out of the box things for themselves or others? Might sound great! But they expect the same in return. They have every right to. But sometimes n to some ppl(specially to the lethargic ones)this non-routine is  routine…They feel things are being overdone or  OVERrated!!No point of expectations being met.

Quite a funny situation, which gets even funnier as ppl from these ENTIRELY different worlds are drawn to each other. As per the obvious, the quiet, reserved ones are surprised of the drama and UNNECESSARY pain the loud, energized one is taking…further they don’t really “feel” anything special,,and the latter whose expectations are not being met feels that the quiet one is not only dumb, but also INHUMAN. Then what? Does he stop expressing or does the other one pick up the habit? Neither happens! Expectations come to an end as the expressive one realizes that he does it only for the LOVE of it…n also in any case he’s better at it than the other. Why let a moment spoil just cz of some expectations? the inexpressive one realizes the worth of being expressive and starts respecting it. He no more thinks it’s a waste and enjoys every moment that is routine or not-routine :D

When I said that making someone “feel” special is one of the most wonderful things in the world, I just forgot to say that each one has a different way! Life is too long to remain obsessed with ourselves forever… “Curiosity” is what draws us to people and the beauty of every relationship lies in the “differences” people share. The key is to stop EXPECTING…and do what you are good at!

The mirror

I am not really sure whether it’s just the case with me or are there more people who suffer cz of a thing so weird. I have met so many people …some became enemies…some stayed friends and some behaved like enemies and still stayed FRIENDS: D But there has not been a single soul that I can say is “perfect FOR ME”…like someone with whom I am comfortable at all times, without exceptions…And here I am not talking about a guy, if that is what you thought! I’m talking on a broader prospect…This might sound a bit MEAN on my part…but this is what I have experienced.

The “no-one is perfect” philosophy works perfectly for me. But it’s not about PERFECTION in the person but it’s about LIKING each other perfectly. Siblings, best friends, people in love and even couples married for years…I’ve not seen any two souls liking each other perfectly…at all times people are finding faults in each other, trying to convince they have a better point, and if nothing else then blaming each other. Why don’t people accept (in true sense) their differences and appreciate them or at least respect them.

I keep hearing it all the time and I still don’t know what makes people say we are “GREAT FRIENDS”...i mean on what parameters? Lemme guess? “WE HAVE FUN TOGETHER”? I mean REALLY ? Is that a parameter for real? I can have fun almost with anyone…We even share the dance floor with people we might hate at workplace! Big deal? For me being great friends should be more towards genuinely loving each other for what we are. I really don’t think this is the case with most of our SUPPOSEDLY “great friends”…had it been, there wouldn’t have been intentional comments, jealousy, hatred and the more fashionable n cool bitching…between the GREAT FRIENDS! I rarely call someone a GREAT friend and believe me my people would get angry over me for that? But what’s wrong in that..? Is it a rule to show-off our friendship if really it hasn’t been as smooth or effortless or desirable? It doesn’t mean in any way that I care for these people in my life any less. I tend to be the first one to help them out. But I hate the awkward situations that arise..FIGHTS…shouting…making horrid faces…saying every crap in the world, reminders of all done and un-done favors, pointing out at your intentions…talking about it to others and then a sleepover…and then they say “it takes only a hug to sort out things” phew! Whatever that means!: D ! It will be rude if you don’t agree…and if you agree at all then there’s always a NEXT time. Things will repeat…but no-one is going to accept you…the way you are..

We meet people. Something draws us to them. At first, we fall in love with them –this is it! we are perfect , and then we want to know them more and more…and when we know EVERY damned thing about them…things start getting sour and then bitter-what went wrong?It’s just like standing in front of the mirror. At first you adore yourself…and then the closer you go…the more the flaws start to show…And then you shrug and walk away! But still we love it and we keep doing it...